..travel journal : delhi..

It was almost 15 years ago when Rich told me that if I could survive a trip to the Boundary Waters, I could survive a trip to India. I was a little wary of his comment, but also thought confidently to myself, "I got this. I'll show him my 'roughing it' skills."

The trip came and went, and back-country camping chewed me up and spit me out. It was a memorable trip, for many reasons, but my 'roughing it' skills were not what I anticipated. I suppose it could have been the fact that I took it upon myself to lighten our load by finishing the box of wine we had decided to bring, resulting in the nastiest hangover of my life. Seriously? Trying to warm your freezing body on a dark rock in the sun while your head is pounding is NOT fun. Maybe it was the incessant rain that made it impossible to dry anything out. Or perhaps, perhaps, it was the moment that I fell backwards onto the muddy trail with a huge dry pack on, and found myself stuck up-ended like a turtle who's been overturned onto its shell. Yes, a memorable trip, with no shortage of laughter at my expense.

Fast forward to today. We finally took that trip to India.

We covered immense territory on this trip, and we traveled with a large group of family and friends. The whole reason we decided to take the trip was because Rich's cousin was getting married in Kerala, which is in the southernmost state of India. With Rich's school schedule giving him a generous winter break, and children at ages that are still young enough to miss school without lagging too far behind, we decided to extend the trip so that we could see more of India than just Kerala. After all, most of Rich's mother's family is still living in India. After 12 years of marriage, I suppose it's time to meet her side of the family.

We mapped out our trip such that we started in Delhi (it's cheapest to fly into Delhi or Mumbai), made our way to the wedding, and then finished up where family live in Andhra Pradesh/Telangana. Two and a half weeks we traveled a good chunk of India, with our neighbors and Rich's brother's family, and Rich's cousin's family (15 of us, total -- 8 adults and 7 kids, aged 2-16).

How did it go, you ask? Let's start in the north...

We arrived in Delhi in the middle of the night. We were pretty wide-eyed, as the time difference had our bodies feeling like it was lunchtime.  It was difficult to see anything, but we definitely felt as though we were in a well populated city, and at the time I couldn't tell if it was just really foggy, or if the pollution was that bad.

We took the first day to simply acclimate to the time and enjoy catching up with family. The kids played together wonderfully, and it had been awhile since we had all seen each other, so taking it easy was exactly what we needed. The hotel was very westernized, so meals could be Indian if you chose, but there were also 'Asian' options and 'Western' options. It was all set out buffet style, so each palate was more than satisfied. If you had a hankering for beef, however, you had to settle for water buffalo.

The second day we were there we took a driving tour of Delhi. We had compiled a list of places we wanted to see, and hired a bus to take us around the city. I am so grateful for that bus.

There is not a rat's chance in hell that I could ever drive in India...or hail an auto rickshaw for that matter. The congestion was at a  level that I have never before experienced. New York and L.A. are tame compared to India. And realistically, the rules of the road are simply that larger vehicles have the right of way. And the honking--so much honking. The honk is meant simply as a 'hey, I'm coming up on ya.' Just a 'toot-toot' get out of my way type thing, but a constant sound nonetheless. I took comfort in the fact that we only drove between 25 and 40 mph, although travel times were painstakingly slow at that speed with the congestion.

Now let's say that you do acclimate to the haphazard driving. Once you are able to open your eyes, unclench your fists and catch your breath, then you will notice the sheer amount of 'stuff' that lines the streets of Delhi. There are few open spaces, and it can very well make you feel claustrophobic. What exists in these spaces? Anything you can imagine. There are homes, food carts, litter, people, vendors, parked cars, bikes, hanging laundry...and the list goes on. Even amid traffic, young girls would perform acrobatics on the street (between cars!) with the hope of being given a few rupees.

The conditions that some of the people live in are so foreign to what we know and understand. I will say that, as a society, they are incredibly resourceful. One can instantly feel bad for what some have to endure, yet more often than not I saw smiling faces and lively conversational exchanges, especially among the children. It doesn't appear to be a country that feels sorry for itself, but rather, a country that is enterprising and making the most of what they have available to them.

As for the pollution, it was that bad. There was a constant brown haze in the sky. You didn't realize how bad it was until you came home at night and found yourself in coughing fits. And while the air pollution took a toll on our lungs, there was also your standard run-of-the-mill litter, and the unexpected human/animal waste. It's not often you see a billboard encouraging the use of toilets. We definitely watched where we were walking.

As I said, we took great care before a plane even took off to have a rough itinerary of what we wanted to see in Delhi. On the docket were Qutub Minar, the Lotus temple, Major Dhyan Chand National Stadium, and the Dilli Haat bazaar. It was a long day, but gave us a nice introduction to the country.

Qutub Minar is the tallest brick minaret in the world, constructed of sandstone and marble. Built in 1200 AD, it is surrounded by other monuments, both finished and unfinished, significant in both the Islam and Hindu faiths. We did have a guide who gave us a proper tour, but I was more entranced with the details of the buildings, some of the wildlife, and making sure that there were no stragglers. It's hard to believe that some of these treasures are over 800 years old.

Our next stop was the Lotus temple. The Lotus temple is a house of worship for members of the Bahai religion, but welcome any denomination to worship there as well. It was built in the 1980's, and is relatively new compared to the Qutub complex. In order to enter the temple, you must take off your shoes and leave them outside. We opted to skip the indoor tour and stayed outside where we could rest assured that our shoes would remain our own. That, and kids were starting to show signs of needing to eat.

Have I ever mentioned that our last name is the result of an immigration misunderstanding? 'Tis true. My father-in-law was quite the field hockey player when he was a young man living in India, and was given the nickname Dhyan Chand. When he was filling out his immigration paperwork to enter the US, he mistook "Last Name" to mean "Nickname," and our family name of Dhyanchand was born. Naturally, the Dhyanchands in our group wanted to do a quick drive by of Major Dhyan Chand National Stadium. Nothing more was needed or required.

The last stop on our Delhi tour (after lunch, of course) was the Dilli Haat bazaar. It is a state run bazaar that requires a modest entrance fee so you can peruse the booths without being bothered by any number of distractions that exist on the regular city street. Most kids opted to stay on the bus for this, which allowed those who needed to take a nap the space to do so.

The bazaar was a tremendous treat for the crafter in me. There were textiles, wood, and paper crafts galore, with such beautiful colors and techniques displayed. While I was taken with how many different handicrafts were available, I hesitated to buy anything because that would have required me to haggle. I don't mind an occasional flea market haggle (of which I am sure I do not drive a hard bargain), but to be thrown into negotiating on the second day of being in a country that pushed my senses in every way conceivable was not something that I was remotely interested in.

A purchase was made, however, and it still puts a smile on my face. For a mere 200 rupees (about $3), Craig bought 'Isaac Newton's Delhi Christmas Extravaganza' CD. It was the most appropriate souvenir, I think, because it was Isaac Newton's. In an odd way, it represents the perfect duality that exists in India -- that of a culture rich in artistic endeavors, and more recently, a culture placing increased importance on the fields of science and mathematics. A Delhi Christmas Extravaganza, indeed. I have yet to hear that CD, but I'm certain when I finally do, I will be transported back to this day -- the day I first ventured out onto the streets of India.

..knitting, for him..

I am a procrastinator. It's no secret, really, that I have an abundance of ideas, and then will abandon them mid-stream, as more ideas come to pass. More times than I can count I have tried to "work" on completing things left unfinished. I have come to the conclusion, however, that not everything (for me) is meant to be finished.

 Like I said before, I am idea person. I enjoy thinking up ideas. Committing to finishing them is a whole different story -- but one that I am trying to change, one project at a time.

I have been knitting now for a number of years. I started off small, with scarves and simple blankets. As a rhythm developed with my knitting, so did a need to challenge myself, little by little. I have been terrible at documenting my progress, but to date, I have knit a small cardigan for both of my girls, a couple of cowls for myself, a couple of blankets, hand warmers, bibs, and some scarves for my sisters. Knitting for girls is easy, really, and I feel bad about that. Mainly because I have a son and husband who I am leaving out, but not intentionally.

Right before Christmas, I finally finished a sweater for Isaac. It's the pattern Tea for Jam and Bread, and it appeared to be an easy sweater. I knew Isaac would like it because of the pockets. Mothers doing laundry? Not so much.  I did not follow the colors exactly, as I tried to use up some leftover yarns in my stash. But I am quite pleased with how it turned out.

Shall I tell you how long it took me to finish this guy up? Oh, only 10 months.

Now, we had a lot going on in the beginning of the year, and certainly that could be my excuse, but, really, it was just the p-word. I put things down, walk away, and get distracted by other things. I didn't forget about this little guy, though, and it did cause me some anxiety. Picking up stitches? The mere mention of that is enough for me to put down the project and leave it to collect dust for a few days, or weeks. Funny thing is, it is never as difficult as I make it out to be in my mind. And I am getting better at it, one sweater at a time.

All in all, it was a fun project to work on. I am quite happy it is now done, and I am on to the next male in the household, so that everyone in the family has their own mama-knit creation.

Hopefully it won't take another 10 months...

..on the mend..

It was a tough winter, but I hadn't any idea what lay in store for us this spring.

About a week before spring officially arrived, Rich was diagnosed with colon cancer. It was a shock to us all--something we were not expecting. Thankfully, his prognosis is the best we can hope for, as surgery removed the tumor and should be enough to be curative. There will be rigorous testing for the next couple of years, to make sure there are no changes. It's a small price to pay for peace of mind. And to have peace of mind is a wondrous thing.

I suppose we are fortunate. Our situation is one in which we can look forward and leave these moments behind. We will be cautious going forward, but we can go forward with hope -- with the knowledge that the odds are in our favor.

Oh, I have been on the other side of that fence too, though. I remember the weight of finding out my mother suffered from progressive dementia. There was no cure, there was only the knowledge that things would get worse, and then she would die. I know that pain and fear, and the dark cloud that seemingly follows you everywhere you go. From that experience (which I have the benefit of having some distance from now), I learned that sometimes, maybe most times, in order to endure the pain, you must find the good.

Strangely, this whole ordeal illustrated that good in many ways: the devoted and caring family and friends we have, and the wonderful community in which we have chosen to make our home. Rich's care while in the hospital (and even before, when we were still figuring things out) was better and more honest than I could've expected. I appreciate those people that know their limits, and are not afraid to voice them.

Even in times of panic, when I wasn't sure how to function, it was the people closest to us that offered us prayers, encouragement, meals, comradery, and enough humor to forget for a moment that darkness we found ourselves in. It's marvelous, isn't it? Sometimes I think these things happen to serve as that very reminder...we are not alone. We do not need to, and sometimes cannot, do things alone.

I am thankful for and humbled by each and every person who lifted us up. Your kindnesses continue to be felt by all of us, and someday, those kindnesses will most certainly be returned.

Rich has since recovered from surgery, he is back to work, and life is back to (semi)normal. We're now in the midst of a school year winding down, with lots of grading, field trips, and school functions. The kids spend a larger proportion of the day outside, and later sunsets mean later bedtimes. Our yard-full of mud and dirt beckons, with plans being made for concrete and *eventually* some gardening boxes. I am back to unpacking boxes, slowly and methodically, trying to make sense of how everything will fit together -- for now.

Spring is normally a time for renewal, refreshment, an opportunity to start over. I suppose in some ways our spring has been just that. We can look forward, continue onward, and enjoy what lays ahead.

..special week..

This week is Margot's special week at school.

She came home on Friday with a poster to complete, and a twinkle in her eyes. She wanted to complete the poster Right. That. Instant. She couldn't contain the excitement about being the center of attention at school for the whole week, and had been waiting for this week all year.

On the poster she had to include her name, some pictures, her age, favorite food, favorite color, and favorite activity. Filling these out, I was surprised at the decisive nature of her responses.

Name:  Margot Scot Dhyanchand

Age:   5

Favorite food:  Lasagna

Favorite color:  Orange, but later it will be something different, like Silver (she likes all colors)

Favorite activity:  coloring

This little girl of ours is both outgoing (at home) and shy (outside of home). She is dramatic and playful, knowing when to take the lead and when to hang back. She wants nothing more than to do everything her brother and sister do. She plays football with Isaac, she plays dolls with Evy. She has a love of shoes and accessories that has been with her since birth...truly, the first thing she has ever noticed on someone new is their shoes and purse. She adores music and I love to see her sing along to songs in the car for no other reason than the expressions on her face. A whirlwind of emotion, is our little Margot.

We poured over old pictures, trying to pick out the perfect ones for her poster.

"Mommy, I want a picture of you kissing me and Daddy kissing me," she stated with authority.

Done, and done.

I cannot believe that this little peanut is going into kindergarten next year. I remember all too well --  the early morning "shift changes" that Rich and I used to have with her...Rich taking the night until about 2 or 3am, then me taking over until morning. How she used to scoot like a pirate across the floor, with one elbow and one hand, and at 10 months (!) how she started walking. Her belly laughs as Isaac and Evy used to fawn all over her, and her shrieks when it got to be too much. This little girl who used to become a nightmare during the witching hour, and remembering the exact moment when I was able to prepare dinner with no crying toddler at my feet.

This little girl is quite the blessing, and I thought I'd share some of these memories with you.

 Happy special week, Margot.

**The pictures of Margot as a wee babe and Margot at her current age were taken by GoochToo Photo. A fantastically talented friend of mine, Renee, who has such a great eye and a wonderful way with children. If you're in the Chicago area, I highly recommend her.**

..busy as bees..

On any given day, there is tremendous activity in our house. I'm not so different from most people with kids similar in age to mine, I'm certain.

We have acclimated to our new small town quite well. I have enjoyed becoming a part of the community, as have our children.

Since moving here, we have enjoyed all manner of activities, and I thought I'd share with you what we have busied ourselves with in the last couple of months.

:: Little Arrows -  Isaac participated in an introduction to basketball program through the elementary school. It was a Saturday activity, where he learned the basics of basketball. The highlight of the program was a half-time show at a varsity girls' basketball game, where all the participants displayed the skills they had learned. It was even set to music, which made it all the better.

:: Pinocchio -  Evy auditioned and was cast in a production of 'Pinocchio.' The Missoula Children's Theater came to our little town in late January. In the course of one week, they cast and produced 'Pinocchio,' with costumes, sets, and everything. Evy was a ballerina toy, and enjoyed being onstage with her friends. They did two performances at the end of the 6 days, and it was quite an impressive accomplishment. Evy did not, however, care for sitting backstage for the entire one-hour production.

:: Family Skate Night -  Family skate night amounted to rollerskating in the gym. It was tremendous fun, although I had some difficulty avoiding the kids who frequently fell. I also learned that I have a real difficult time skating clockwise. Who knew? The physical education classes at their school had all been doing rollerskating, and this served as their culmination event. I felt badly for Rich, whose monstrous feet barely fit into the largest size skate they had. Somewhat fortuitously, Margot didn't care for the skating, so instead he kept her company and chatted with some neighbors, while the rest of us enjoyed whizzing around the gym on 4 wheels.

:: Sock Hop - The build-up to this event was pretty exciting. Girls talking about what their poodle skirt looked like, pleas for help from the parents, and numerous save the date flyers and invitations coming home in folders. Initially, Isaac was disinterested in attending. Dancing is not his thing. Evy and Margot didn't feel strongly one way or another, and I was willing to skip it only because it would've been our 4th night out that week. I thought better of it, however, and we went. It ended up being great fun for the kids, and tolerable for the adults. I'm not one to jump in and start cutting a rug with a bunch of elementary kids. I'm the wallflower that likes to watch from the sidelines. Unless it's rollerskating, of course - but even then I refuse to limbo. There was hula-hooping, poodle skirts galore, a picture booth, dinner, and much fun had by all. I'm so glad that we made the decision to go.

:: Dinners with New Friends - Evy has made the astute observation that we have been having "a lot of customers" lately. By customers, she means dinner guests. One thing the distance kept us from for the last 3 years (as a family), was having people over for meals on a regular basis. We enjoy sharing meals with others. We both enjoy cooking, and my kids enjoy having playmates. Since we've moved, we have dinner with friends at least twice a week, and lately, more often. We've made a point to invite over some people that we've wanted to break bread with, in an effort to get to know our community and the community that Rich is a part of at the university. It has been hard being away from family back in Illinois, and even friends. What makes our move all the sweeter, however, is the friends that we've made (and continue to make) since we've been here. It's reassurance to me that we picked the right place to settle. One could not ask for better customers.

:: Valentine's Tea/Classroom helper - I have the privilege of working in Margot's class for a short period of time once a week. I have been going in regularly for the last few months now, helping with centers in her classroom. We have done all sorts of neat activities, and the kids in her classroom are all familiar with who I am, which is a nice feeling for this former teacher. On Valentine's day, Margot's class had a special tea party where we made cards, friendship bracelets, read stories, ate a snack, and listened to and sang along with some songs. I will always feel fortunate to be able to share these kinds of moments with my kids, and hang onto the memory of them when my presence in school will be viewed as a threat instead of a treat.

:: Snow days - Ugh-this winter. We have spent far too many days home from school. It has been a brutally cold winter with piles of snow. In our move, things climate-wise have changed insignificantly. But this winter has chewed us up and spit us out. Right when you have a mild and sunny day -- BAM! -- Old Man Winter brings you a snowstorm the next. There is a little bit of rain falling and -- KA-POW! -- Old Man Winter drops the temperatures to negative 500 degrees and now the roads are sheets of ice. Not fun. At last count, we have had 7 snow/cold days. I have tried to make the best of them -- but even the novelty of them has worn off for the kids and all I'm left with is a bunch of whining about how they miss their friends or their teachers or their science experiment they were going to do in school that day. I've done the best I can to make up for what they are missing, and sometimes we're fine and enjoy our day together, and other times we all go to our separate corners.

Soon, spring will come and we'll be enjoying a whole host of new activities. I might actually get to start biking all over town instead of putting the car in to a lower gear just to get up the damn driveway. *Sigh*